Fairmont Toastmasters Club

[Maria Pablo]

Making a baby is easy. Delivering a baby is not easy. Taking care of a baby as he or she grows eventually grows up - is never easy, particularly for working parents. Thus comes the arduous task of searching for a babysitter or a day care that parents go through, and my husband Anton and I are no exceptions.

When we came to Canada, 9 years ago, I was 4 months pregnant with GP, our eldest. We decided that I will work when turns one. But that’s how far our planning went. We got so excited about having a baby as it was our first we really didn’t even think of who will care for the baby when I start to work. Back in the Philippines, you could easily get a nanny and most families would even have one per child. We would have family members or relatives who would gladly care for the little ones. But here we had no one.

Thankfully my in-laws have decided to come over from the Philippines when GP turned 1 as they wanted to see their grandson. They stayed for a year and this gave me the opportunity to work. Having my in-laws as nannies was beneficial for us. Of course we had disagreements here and there as to methods of raising a child but nonetheless we had that complacency that the people looking after our child actually care for our child. We also do not have to worry about day care costs – all I have to worry about is the cost of keeping my sanity in dealing with my in-laws.

So year 1 wasn’t a problem. Then came year 2, we got so comfortable with this arrangement that this time we asked my parents to come over. It was also my way of getting even with Anton as now he had to deal with my parents. Ha!

When my parents left in 2000, that’s the time our search began. It turned out to be a quick search as we had a friend in our apartment building who was willing to care for GP along with her 2 other kids. The only thing was their place was not child-proof that one time I picked up GP with a wound in his head. He actually hit a cable outlet. The wound was deep but it wasn’t deep enough to require stitches and our friend was actually apologetic about this. Sooner or later, they bought a house and moved out of our building. That’s when our true search began.

I checked the Yellow Pages, the City Parent magazine, Internet, friends. Private daycares - They were either too far – too costly – or inflexible with the hours.

As for public daycares, One should probably register even before conceiving to get a spot. The waitlist is unbelievable – 2 years at least.

We also looked at home day care centres where they provide care in their own homes for up to 5 children. This was actually a good option particulary the company coordinating this home care centres will look for a substitute caregiver in case your caregiver is sick or not available on a certain day. I found one close to our area. She happened to be on the 21st floor of a high-rise apartment building. I didn’t bother scheduling an appointment. Just the thought of my child being on the 21st floor terrified me.

Hiring a nanny is also costly. Hence, it wasn’t an option.

Out of desperation, I started looking at ad postings on bus stops and groceries and pulled those phone numbers on those strips of paper. But then were we really going to entrust our child to a total stranger?

Then someone told us about Central Montessori School on Sheppard Avenue. I passed by it everyday as I take the bus as we lived in Don Mills and Sheppard. But then I never thought of inquiring. Just the word Montessori is enough to alarm us -costwise. It turned out however that their fees was reasonable. Compared to a public day care, it’s just a few hundred dollars more and your child gets to learn as well as it was a school/day care. We registered GP when he turned 3. It’s a great place and I have actually recommended it to a friend. GP was counting 1 to 10 in French and singing French nursery rhymes only in his first week. Years later, GP complained about getting up early that most of the time we bring him over sleeping but then we had no choice.

I then became pregnant with Marty our youngest. This time we planned early…As soon as I gave birth, my husband and I sat down and gave our situation a thought – at the end of my maternity leave, we would have no choice but to put in the 2 kids in a day care – can we afford it? – This was a no-brainer. No! GP was then entering Grade 1 so we have decided to bring him to public school. But who will pick him up from school? They do not have a day care. My in-laws can no longer come over as they have a business that they need to attend to. My father was sick and travelling wasn’t advisable so they weren’t an option either.

My husband then had a solution - quit his job and concentrate in his business which is insurance and he would work from home and look after the two kids. I laughed. I thought it was a joke! “You will take care of the 2 kids? You cannot even change Marty’s diaper.

But then I looked at his face and I saw that he wasn’t laughing…He was dead serious. I tried to regain my composure very quick and asked him, are you really serious? He said “Yes.” I was sleepless for a number of days and I was thinking – Is my husband losing it? Can he really take care of the kids? He didn’t even want to change Marty’s diaper – same case when GP was a baby…One day, he came home and he said it’s finished. “What is finished?”, I asked. “I’ve quit.” “What?” More sleepless nights for me. How will we survive now that he doesn’t have a day job and with me on maternity benefits? I had no option but to trust him and pray.

On my first day back to work, I probably called him at least twice every hour. As days passed, my calls became less frequent. I then became confident that he can handle the 2 kids. It turned out well. When I get home from work, our dinner is ready and my lunch for the next day is all set. Anton then leaves to meet with clients while it’s my turn to care for the kids. We don’t have to worry about strangers looking after the kids and we don’t have to worry about costs.

It has been 15 months now since I went back to work and Anton has survived taking care of the kids on his own. Surprisingly, the kids have also survived him. We have all survived. I am quite impressed with my husband or should I say houseband. He has proven himself not only a superdaddy, but he is also a supernanny.

Fellow toastmasters, those of you who have kids and those of you who plan to have kids and would eventually be on a search for childcare or day care - There’s one thing that I have learned from my experience - There are no hard and fast rules in finding a day care. As long as your child is happy and you are happy, you have found the perfect day care.

In my case, we’re perfectly happy with our day care, it is actually -- Daddy Day Care.